Pairing(s): Yesung centric!, YeDong(Friendship?)
Genre: Angst, Drama, Family, Friendship
Disclaimer: I don't own.
Summary: A car accident was all it took to wipe away his memories of the man he used to be and the family he had loved, Yesung's getting a new start into the cruel world he had left behind just for only a moment.
List of Chapters Here.
Shindong didn't know why but he had actually found a bit of hope when he found out that Yesung had forgotten everything.
Maybe he could start over, maybe he could be nice for once to the elder, maybe the said elder would stop his weird antics...
Hah, and maybe fans would stop writing fanfiction about them being gay with each other.
But soon he found himself deep in guilt, thinking and wondering everyday what would have happened if Yesung-- err... Jongwoon found out about what he used to do, the mean things he had said in public...
Would he beat him up?
Would he never speak to him ever again?
He wondered and wondered until one day he had actually found Jongwoon on youtube watching a particularly vicious video, one of an interview or a game or something... he couldn't personally remember but he knew he had gotten yelled at by Leeteuk after it so it must've been bad..
Jongwoon turned to face him when he entered the room and Shindong expected him to start glaring daggers, to do anything, to jump on him but the man just sat there staring at him as if he didn't exist, as if he was nothing.
"Do you need something or do you just like to watch people do stuff?"
Shindong twittled with his fingers nervously, playing with the ring on his finger.
"I... I just wanted to see if you were up for some video games...."
It was a lie and he knew that Jongwoon knew, Yesung had that uncanny ability too... the ability to see through every lie and every mask that anyone had ever put up in front of him, he saw through it like smoke...
"What are you? 18?"
He frowned and murmured in a quiet voice after a while, turning away to start packing up his laptop before standing up to leave Shindong with his thoughts, leaving him thinking that for a second, he saw a flash of hurt course through his chocolate brown eyes...
But then he told himself quietly that this was Jongwoon, not Yesung, not the man he had ridiculed for the past years...
He could start over, try his hardest to earn his hyung's respect and kind words... and maybe actually feel happy to hear them instead of the guilt he usually felt...
Starting from the beginning could be a good thing...
This was a second chance... how stupid would he be to not take it?
...It didn't matter about the past... today was today and today he would try his hardest to fix everything before this opportunity came and left, before it was gone forever....
Besides... it's not like Jongwoon would actually remember...
"Hey Shindong... You hungry..?"
He mutely shook is head from where he sat on the couch just staring blankly at the GAME OVER that graced the large television they had all chipped in money to buy.
The couch dipped and he turned to glare at the man who smiled lazily at him, something that looked out of place with the dark bags and puffy eyes that just added more to the somber mood that fell on the group.
"Yeah, seriously Hae."
He kept that small smile on his face as if it was a lifeline, as if the world would end for him if he didn't smile but the small pools of tears in the corners of his eyes, the one he just blatantly tried to wipe away oh so discreetly, told Shindong that he was breaking along with the others.
"...Hey..." He started softly, taking the controller that lay limp on the couch, "do you ever wonder..."
The game started again but Shindong just leaned back, closing his eyes.
"...Do you ever regret..." His voice starts cracking, breaking, choked with sobs, "...not saying things....?"
A crash and the game ended again.
A big breath before he opened his eyes to turn his gaze onto Donghae, the fishy of the group who might as well be making his own river with the tears that he was currently trying to vainly wipe away. He opened his arms and pulled his dongsaeng into a hug, rubbing his back comfortingly as the sobs became louder shaking his seemingly fragile body until Shindong feared that he would break into pieces.
I regret the things I said... not the things I didn't...
".......I want him back........"
A soft whisper that held all the hurt and want in the world and all Shindong did was nod mutely, staying quiet without a word to say for the first time in his life.
A/N: can you guys totally tell that i'm still annoyed with shindong?
i really really really hate him when he makes fun of sungie, like no freaking clue, it pisses me off. so so much.
but yeah ahah here's his chapter and cuz someone needs to cry in every one of them i added hae /gets bricked
i love you guys who like comment so adamantly in every chapter ahaha seriously, i do this for your comments ^__^ they're like my drugs ahaha <3333 so babes...
if you haven't yet ahaha
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Muchos gracias <3