Pairing(s): Yesung centric!, Yeteuk(friendship?)
Genre: Angst, Friendship, Family
Disclaimer: I don't own.
Summary: A car accident was all it took to wipe away his memories of the man he used to be and the family he had loved, Yesung's getting a new start into the cruel world he had left behind just for only a moment.
List of Chapters Here.
For Leeteuk, it was as if yesterday was coming back.
Standing on the side of his bed, watching as his eyelashes fluttered in his sleep... it was enough for him just knowing that Yesung could dream...
...because maybe... just maybe... he was dreaming of them.
"You're the leader, correct?"
He nodded worriedly, glancing backwards over his shoulder to see that mostly everyone was sleeping, the air heavy with exhaustion and worry, aside from Kyuhyun who had brought his PSP and was currently staring into space, music blasting through his earphones.
"How is he?"
Leeteuk didn't want the truth.
He wanted everyone to tell him that Yesung was going to be fine, that he was going to return with that stupid infectious smile on his face, bright, happy, carefree...
If the truth was going to hurt then why would he want it?
That day was just another today before a tomorrow and after a yesterday.
But it was that day that he had learned about the internal bleeding, the gash that would scar the younger's stomach from the glass of the car, the bruises on his arms as a result from trying to protect himself from the brunt of the collision.
That day Leeteuk had learned of the bone in his leg that was fractured in two spots, he had learned of the crutches that he would be receiving, and he had heard about the difficulty of doing anything for the next month or two.
Then he thought.
What were they going to do when the group's crutch was on crutches himself?
Fast forward to today.. a different today where he stood hesitating.
Yesun-- ...Jongwoon's hand... small fingered and seemingly small as it lay on the hard bleached sheets of the hospital bed...
Leeteuk wondered if he grabbed it and laced their fingers together... would it still fit like before?
His fingers lightly touched the skin, ghosting over the smaller before Leeteuk slowly took it and softly gripped.
His eyelashes fluttered and his lips parted slightly at the interaction but he did not wake to yell or scream or worse, to look at him with those now cold, empty eyes... filled with nothing of the past chocolate warmth.
Slowly pulling a chair up to where he was standing, sitting down, still, with Jongwoon's smaller hand sandwiched in his sweaty palms.
He had promised not to cry in front of the others but here, alone in this room, seemingly alone in this whole world, he took a shuddering breath and released the dam of tears that continued to flow seemingly endless.
How could he be strong without Yesung there by his side bribing him to relax, slapping sense into him when he started to panic, comforting him when he felt like breaking down, making him laugh away all his fears, shoving food into his mouth when he was hungry but too busy to do anything else, making him smile when the world was about to end...
How could he be strong without Yesung?
A small tug made his open his eyes to only stare shocked as he met the now open cold abysmal chocolate eyes of the other.
He released the other's hands just as quickly as he had taken it.
He didn't want to hear the truth...
"I'm not.. Yesung..."
Leeteuk didn't want it.
"..So please... stop."
His words were quiet, simple... but his voice was detached, uncaring, annoyed.
It would have been better if he had just yelled.
"..Y-you have to be..."
Why was he speaking?
And did he always sound this weak? Frail? As if he was going to break with the smallest of touches.
Yesu-- Jongwoon was watching now, eyes filled with something unrecognizable.
Watching as the hot tears slid down Leeteuk's cheeks hitting the dimple of his shaky smile, a last attempted wall that only made him appear weaker.
Then he frowned.
"I can't be him."
Leeteuk didn't want the truth.
He didn't want to face that his best friend, his confidant, his shoulder to lean on... was gone and wouldn't be returning.
Leeteuk didn't want any of it.
But today as he stood there clutching tightly onto the ends of his crumpled shirt, as their eyes connected, as he uttered those words...
He just wanted it all to go away.
He wanted Yesung back, not this confused, unrecognizable Jongwoon.
Wasn't it only a yesterday?
Just a yesterday that now seemed so far away, promises whispered in the darkest of nights as they lay together warm in the bed they shared.
Just a yesterday spent laughing about the people who looked funny on the television.
Just a yesterday with their family as one crowded and squished into a booth at a restaurant eating together, sharing stories that have been told countless of times but still managing to bring smiles to their lips.
Just a yesterday where small fingers laced tightly onto longer ones, a perfect fit, warm and soft, safe and steadfast.
Wasn't it only yesterday...?
But everything comes crashing down when Leeteuk remembers that yesterday was gone and he couldn't run away from this today even if he burned up his lungs and pulled every muscle in his legs.
Because it was only yesterday.
A/N: forgive me for the angst but this IS an angsty fic, i have warned you so please don't brick me ahaha
so i was basically thinking of going through all the members in this fic +2 good idea? bad idea? i don't know ahaha
thanks for reading